I struggle horribly as a student. So I rebuilt the class. Here’s how.

Cycling in the rain is never fun. But that day I didn’t care one bit. My destination was a standup comedy venue, for the first in a series of six classes. I’d been looking forward to it for a while. It might have been pouring outside, but my inner forecast was sunny, no showers.

Yet when I walked out back outside a few hours later, dark clouds had gathered.

I felt a desperate sense of shame, frustration, and sadness. I was wiped out. Drained. Despairing. My self-esteem hovered near zero. And a full 24 hours later my vibe remained deeply overcast.

Why?

Not because I bombed. Not in the typical sense, at least. It was something else.

Later, I thought about how many others must have had these same feelings. And not just as an adult in comedy classes — at any age, in any learning environment.

I wanted to figure out some solutions. But first — what was the problem?

Turn it up to eleven

For most of the class, I wasn’t quite sure what was the matter. Early on, I had some nerves, but nothing major. It felt similar to when I teach or speak somewhere. New people, new place, destination unknown.

But by halfway, a very nasty sense of deja vu: chest burning, pounding heartbeat, fidgeting in my seat, impatience, checking the clock. Anxious. Agitated. Two, three, four thought channels whirring…